I m on holiday now..
Today i looked back the pictures in my secondary schools life and primary pictures. When i look those pictures my heart sanked.. Actually after i graudated from Primary I never ever turn back and visit the school.. Deep in my heart i really wanted to come back.. but its like something stopping me to do so... I miss all my friends, Its still freshed in my mind of my friends name. i miss them.

Same goes for Secondary school friends, I remember when im still in Dikir Barat Team. We faced alots of challenges, the most i miss in secondary school life is my Band.My Band was a COP band.. But i remembered we all strived hard to improved. However we faced alots critic comments. Unfortunately, i was all alone a band member in my class there afew but they quit. I remember my first instrument was introduced to me.. I now learned that music cant be sprated from my blood. Now I always dreamt about my band and my primary friends. I miss all of them.. I hope i could turn back all the time. I would like to thanks all teachers that have teached me.. I realised when i grow older I have to learned to let things go.. But this things will be kept closed to my heart. I never forget all of its.

My great Pal Mustapha, primary friend, he admire me.. I wonder where was him.. I do remembered i told him "i hope you will find someone better than me". at that time i cried badly as i told him this.. Where in the world he could be..We meet back during primary 6 reunited, we still good friends we even say maybe we would meet each other for study in the library, after that moment till now i never saw him again.. Its hard to lost a good pal like him.. but then know he have a good life now..


In Secondary, I almost like a quiet girl, i rarely talked. I talked alots to people that i know closed only, im changed since sec three when i cant convince my parent to have turst on me. And its really hurt me. I used to be a obidient girl but after my dad always misjudged me. i change to be a wild girl i became rude and ungrateful child. i know what im done is so wrong, But i do this to get thier attention. I have a great bestfriends and a girl backstab me, from that moment i became even worst. I confornt with her and have a slow talk i know i scold her badly. From that moment i dont believe in "BESTFRIENDS" . But now we a good friend, but i never forget what she have doned to me till now. But in secondary 4 i was all alone.. i got no one.... i was a loner..


Its was because the past teached me alots... Sorry for those who know me as a "innocent girl" but after all i got a darkest history which no ones can feel accept me. I was like a piece of old newspaper that flys in the street being roll over car wet in the rain and dry in the sun. and getting torn here and there slowly i will vanished after time past..



Life of me is dark.. MY heart is red
When i hear the growling dog bark.... im afraid
Holding tights to myself.... nodded down to my body
I cried in the night... when no body hearing..

I hurt myself day and night
when no ones found the scar which in my heart
Stand in smile to all friends
Actually i was throwing its fake to cheer them great
I do cruel things in the actions
Actually i was gulity in person

Im shouting alone when no one hearing
Say out my angers in the air to relief my feelings
Saying this every day till nights
"WIll i be alive tommorrow or i will die?"
"i cant faced your challenges world"
"as im not strong to faced this all"
"however i know i forcing it"
"which im doing is killing me"
" i standing proud with confidence"
"cause i know every challenges"
"makes me even better person"

*Nana*