im change.... =(

Nana smile have gone,

elllo...

Today i check my frenster and i received comment from my cuz.. she say im changed.. n i try to aske my fren.. yana and alif.. and they agreed.. they say.. im like not having much fun or not really me.. and i rough on my words... i like to do stupid stuff.. and more.. i can bear listen anymore.. im changed alot!!!!!!
i admit i myself skip or to be exact cabut class even my classmate edwin asked.. im i ok?.. i just hate myself!!!!!!!!!.. y i being such a i***t!!!! .... i think i lost my interest in study... and i lost my concerntration!!!!!.. i changed!!!... I know i hurt ppl around me!!!.... i advice on others but i the one the give up with myself!!!!!.. thx to them to telling me the truth.. im grateful to have them arnd to alert me... but now i hope it not too late for me to change...truth is i lost my concerntration in my course now.. its like 0% in my mind abt my course.. im worried.. bt maybe i try to get the rid of my worried by being a bad girl!!.. i escape class.. i come late for lesson.. and i can c ppl also dun even bothered abt me anymore..... i dun blame them for doing that bcoz if i was them i will do the same thing too.. and my family nvr knows what happent to thier dearest daughter and sister.. this girl here have changed ... she no longer regconised.. i hurt many ppl.. i hurt my classmate i usually hang out... i hurt my frens, i hurt my cuzzin.. and my teacher.. edwin told me.. Y u like this?.. i got no answer to say to him.. bt i know i alrady hurt him ..... wat i feel now days... im lost.. i admit i cut my hand... i do even hangout wif ppl that throw bad influence to me( outsider ppl) but dun blame them its me myself not he or her.. i go out by myself... i think when the time im alone.. im finding myself back.. i think im finding peace to my mind.. . ppl even advice me to fin myself a BF so i cld shared my prob with him.. but i juz.. cnt think directly now... i nid someone to be my backbones...bt i dun want to have BF juz to throw my prob the him.. and i belive i cld do it on my own... even i feel badly i tried my best to stand up back.. sorrie to my frens.. no worries nana will fight to be old her....


tc.. im sorry...

*nana*

memories in me wont fade just like a wind,

To the Dearest..
I feel lost... I can feel the emptiness in me.. I can feel something not right..
what ever it was.. i know why i feel this way.. i just wld like to pray the best for them.. Theres nothing i cld do now.. rather than surrender my fate to God.. It was because no one knows what we feel accept for Him.. I pray hard and hopes all this come in a solution and end with a peace way.... What i cld say is I apologise.... Today what was i been thinking is only about them.. nothing else....I wonder what will my life be?... I surrender everything.. my fate,luck,happiness even life story to Him now.. i cant think of any other thing.. now what i been think what are they been doing lately now...however i alwaes pray that they will be fine and doing well ....

tc to all my friends if u are readin my blog...



" theres nothing i cld do just to wish the best to u both...i will alwaes pray for the best to u both...I apologise.."


*nana*

To my dearest friend.. Yana and Alif..

I will not bother you both again.. I will scarifice for the sake of gaining your trust back. I apologise, If what im done have hurt you both. I rather hurt you both, rather then you questioning my turst towards you. It was because it hurts me even more.. I do apologise if i change my attitude.. But theres nothing i cld do rather than go back to my old ways.. I dont blame anyone,accpet myslef.. It was because i the one make u questioning my trust... I know i love u both alot!!!!.... but i cant stay around u both anymore.. I wont forget the times we enjoyed together.. yana and alif.. u both means so much to my life...... Pls do take care yourself... in no matter what happen.. my spirit is wif u both alwaes.. i apologise i might not able to be there when u both nids me.. But u have to put the faith in God now.. I will no more there for u both... i see this all before.. i dont want it to happened again...., no matter what happens im still ur fren.. i alwaes somewhere in u both.. thanks, for bringing, and sharing ur joy with me.. and shared ur smile wif me.. i really appreciated it alots!!!!.. I wantd to do this for the sake of all of us good... pls dont asked why i react this way.. what im doing is a scarification for ur relationship... i cldnt afford to see ur relationship fall aprt juz becoz of me... because i cant afford to lost my precious fren in my life..... Illyana and Aliff.. this might the last msg of me to u both... i will not contacting u guys for some time .. Pls leave me alone.. i do this to gaining ur trust back!!..(cries)......... I really wantd to apologise.. from the top of my hair to the bottom of my toe.. I will alwaes rmmber u guys in my heart... Thanks for all ur concerns, and ur friendship that u throwed non stop to me.. .. lastly

gdbye..
takecare my friend..

my pray alwaes wif u both*
tc..

" To Yana and Aliff.. aku mintak maaf atas keputusan aku buat.. .. maafkan lah.. .. aku dah alami semua dgn Yiling gan Eugune... aku tak nak kiter smapi jadi musuh mcm aper terjadi pada aku dgn drg.... dari itu lebih baik aku yg mengundur diri.. dari krg.. Aku memohon keampun kpd korg..tc.. Assalamualaikum"

.

1st Raya, is rotten!!!,

ello..

Today the 1st Syawal, ,most family will go out in the morning and visit thier families and relatives.. but not for me... i didnt ... i stay at home.. i go no one house.. or either ppl come to my house... i dont feel today like raya.. but i know the fact that today is raya.. they having great time.. but not me.. but before Ramadhan left me.. i cried badly.. i just wonder why??, i never cries if Ramadhan left me.. but i dunnoe why i cry this year.. my heart sank deeply to the bottom of my heart.. and its worsen on the 1st Syawal...I just wonder.. why this month i feel this way.. i kept asked myself the answer, y,....y,.....y....,???.. Is this my last Raya??.. Or last Ramadhan???.. i tried my very best not to think of this .,... but it leave me no choice now.. to think of it...My heart sometime feel empty... i admit i wore.. baju raya,make kuih for Raya and even prepared for raya.. but i wonder y i dun feel it(Raya season)!!!.. haiz.. and weird is..usually when Raya season i will nvr be this hyper..eg do preparation,... and its so weird...the only thing i feel is Ramadhan leave me, but theres alwaes a fate behind it.... i hope tmw will brighten my day.. Nvr asked why i was tested this way... I also dun want to asked... i wantd to see the future.. what the answer is to all my conclusions.... I will patiently wait... for the answer to my conclusion.. If there still no answers, theres nothing i cld says, btw I would to say goodbye to Ramadhan.. and ello to Aidilfitri... even though i dun feel ur presence.. but atleast i know u r there.... i damn sorry... But i cant lied myself..i cant run from the fact that im feeling.. I cant put a fake smile and spread...If u read this.. pls totally ignore my feeling... there nothing u cld do.. when the fate already shows.. when ur heart is empty.. there no point to cheer it,.. it mgt help.. but the pain or emptness will be remain..but i will appreciate what u have done... If i have says something that hurt u,... i really apologise... and pls accept it.. have a great day arites!!... If u have a smile which u know is real and not a fake, go spread it.. bcoz it will works on others that got sames feeling has u too..Lastly i sorry


SeLamAT HAri RayeR!

GoodBye RAmAdhan...

Nana.