1st Raya, is rotten!!!,

ello..

Today the 1st Syawal, ,most family will go out in the morning and visit thier families and relatives.. but not for me... i didnt ... i stay at home.. i go no one house.. or either ppl come to my house... i dont feel today like raya.. but i know the fact that today is raya.. they having great time.. but not me.. but before Ramadhan left me.. i cried badly.. i just wonder why??, i never cries if Ramadhan left me.. but i dunnoe why i cry this year.. my heart sank deeply to the bottom of my heart.. and its worsen on the 1st Syawal...I just wonder.. why this month i feel this way.. i kept asked myself the answer, y,....y,.....y....,???.. Is this my last Raya??.. Or last Ramadhan???.. i tried my very best not to think of this .,... but it leave me no choice now.. to think of it...My heart sometime feel empty... i admit i wore.. baju raya,make kuih for Raya and even prepared for raya.. but i wonder y i dun feel it(Raya season)!!!.. haiz.. and weird is..usually when Raya season i will nvr be this hyper..eg do preparation,... and its so weird...the only thing i feel is Ramadhan leave me, but theres alwaes a fate behind it.... i hope tmw will brighten my day.. Nvr asked why i was tested this way... I also dun want to asked... i wantd to see the future.. what the answer is to all my conclusions.... I will patiently wait... for the answer to my conclusion.. If there still no answers, theres nothing i cld says, btw I would to say goodbye to Ramadhan.. and ello to Aidilfitri... even though i dun feel ur presence.. but atleast i know u r there.... i damn sorry... But i cant lied myself..i cant run from the fact that im feeling.. I cant put a fake smile and spread...If u read this.. pls totally ignore my feeling... there nothing u cld do.. when the fate already shows.. when ur heart is empty.. there no point to cheer it,.. it mgt help.. but the pain or emptness will be remain..but i will appreciate what u have done... If i have says something that hurt u,... i really apologise... and pls accept it.. have a great day arites!!... If u have a smile which u know is real and not a fake, go spread it.. bcoz it will works on others that got sames feeling has u too..Lastly i sorry


SeLamAT HAri RayeR!

GoodBye RAmAdhan...

Nana.