Yesterday nite, it like a sad day for me...
It was because Alif and yana going to celebrate thier 3rd anniversary today.. and its like i was being alone by myself then....
Poor2 me..
Being alone and all alone..
i wasnt allowed to walked alone.. and wasnt allowed by alif and yana.. for my own good..
The reason they do tis.. due to my sick with juz recovered.. which not fullly recovered..
I juz wonder where can i go.... hmmm its like so bored.... if i just go home straight... haix...
anyone wld like to accompany me??...
hmm.. then yesterday i get anonymous msg from sound.. that sy " i wait for you to stead with me or something...?" haiz.. juz keep wondering who..however who it is... i hope the person being truthfully and face and say the truth... not by playing hide and seek and keep myself wonder who was the person...., i don bother to know either... and at the yesterday nite.... i was chat with another new person.. whch Yana's God Brother.... well we juz have a normal conversation.. as i got nothing much to say abt myself... haix.. then my friendster like was affected background virus... it cant be opened... and i damn worried....
TODAY,...
WHy i dreamt about u...?
Where r u?
why u r coming in my dreams?, i been callling ur name when i saw u but u juz ignored me.. in the dream....
and why werent we juz met in the real life?..
I miss u.. , its like 8 years we been sperated...
why i didint give u that chance... why that the last time we met just a welcoming smile...
i know i rejected u past years.. i do that becoz i was not understanding ur heart... it like everything was clear in my mind... we go reccess together.. From u i start to advising ppl.. and i still doing it till now.. its like u r my very first fren which approuch my helped... and tell me ur feeling.. On that very day.. we like a gd best fren.. i stilll keep ur pic.. ur name still fresh in my mind....i got a new best fren wif helmi and present ppl i met.. but unluckily we cant last long... like we last our friendship... i know i hurt ur hurt badly... but now i wanted to pay for very drip of ur blood whch fall on the floor because of me... I make u cried... i know i feel bad.. u like the first guy that admire me... even we saw each other a few months ago.. we just smile... and u were with a girl.. i not sure whether it ur fren or ur GF.. but however if she was ur GF... i hope she will make u happy.. as i already pray for ur happineess for the last 8 years... and i also rmmberd my words that i say to u... " mudahan2 awak akan dapt pompan jauh baik dari kiter.." i feel so guilty of saying that and u say to me "Dulu nuriadah yg hancur kan hati kiter.. skrg awak lak.. kenper org suker sakit kan hati kiter"... i cried when u say that... everyday after sch we wait each other at sch gate... and we go home together....
But if only i cld return to our past and i wld accept ur love.. coz now i realize...no one can gib the pureness friendship of gal and boy,my first step to dvising ppl, and my first admire.. .....
and ur friendship with me like a pure.. when everything changed after i hurt ur feeling.....
I still remmber the smile we give each other for tej last few months.. if we meet.. i wld like to spend our time.. like the days we had last time...
even after we come back the farewell party in pri sch.. and u say maybe we cld go on in a study grp... and that the last time we saw each other...
MUSTAPHA BIN KAMARULZAMAN,..... Ur named are here.. in my heart... pls come back..
i miss u fren..
And now i got frens that alwaes being with me/casual.. Yana,Nina,Wanie,Eerah,Alif,Sufian,Rufian,Safwan,Aidil,Safwan,Lin Han,Lin Bin,Wei Chien,Edwin,Safri..and family....( i dont want to lost this ppl.. they the ppl that only i have at this moment..even ther some i not really closed with.. but they have being there and be a nice fren wif me.. n i shld treasure them ..)
*To ppl that reading my blog... Im sorry if any parts o my words hurt u,... despite from this story.. i learned to respect ppl feeling.. and trying not to hurt anybody else.. this one guy i hurt already make me regret...
*nana*
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