Finally yesterday i get the answer i been waiting all these long.. For the first time i brave up myself and msg him..I not sure why yesterday i think of that.. and i pray hard to God ALLAH SWT.. i pray hard for few days past... and yesterday i really pray hard.. n finally he showed me the way.. as i pray i said.. Only he knows what good or bad for me.. and i surrender my life story upon to him..
Indeed, He showed me the way.. And i start to msg him.. at first i m kind of nervous.. but then he reply me back.. i asked whether he regconise my number, and he did with great surprised expression.. as it showed all over in his sms...
i continued smses him.. and he reply every of my msg.. and when he himself msg with give me a full of joy when he said he was wif his "ehem".. when i saw that word.. maybe most ppl shld think i wld be sad.. but it not!!.. its brings up smile to my face.. Let me explain why... So i know that i dont feel like owing him any loves.. because all the while i cant except any other guy in my mind bcoz due to him.. so now its like everything is clear enough that nothing for me to worried about anymore,.. And after that i can feel the relief in my heart bcoz i know we are not hoping ....
So its mean we werent fate for each other... And i accept that coming.. as last post i do say i forced myself to forget him.. and indeed.. i forget all the love and everything but only one thing i cant forget about him that we have its the precious little memory we used to gain... so it wasnt a difficult for me to forget him.. and now i just wanna treat him as my friend.. actually i have people that i admire.. but at last i prefer to have them as my friends rather then they keep themselves far away from me... who the person.. just let me keep it in my heart..
Hurt?
I do feel abit of sad.. and wonder.. bcoz i cant still remember the past ...
while i with my friend.. i was hangout with him.. but then his fren come... so i leave my small beg on the table.. and unfortunatley, he put his belongings on my beg... while i sit on a table that kind of facing other table.. coz im kind of embrassed to it infornt of the guys arnd.. so after im done.. i fetch myself a tissue which in my beg... and then.. i taking my beg.. while he abt to removing his belongings frm my beg.. he stared at me as i look at him as well in the eyes... and i slowly turned my faced off him.. and my heart was raced hard after that.. after that i cant stopped thinkin of him... as i was strucked by his smile which wins my heart...
we have great memories.. mgt not great for him but it is for me.. but i just wanted to keep this memories till end...
we love to play Tekken together... and we also like to joke arnd, i dont want to forget the memories.. as it cant be found anywhere or been repeated the same day,time n feelings..
IM feel so well Thanks!.. to Allah SWT...without His Guidence and showing me the door of truth maybe i wld have been hoping far than now.. atleast i know theres the end now.. I pray that he wld happy with his love.. and i also hope he have a great time .. about the past actually its still sad for me.. but i shld be gald that now my door of hearts is opened..
DO we have the same way??
Maybe i and him do have the feel love toward each other.. that we both dont know.. Its was bcoz my fren sometime keep saying abt ltr my boyfriedn scold all the thingy.. maybe he have turned or sacrifice it loved for me, and forget me.. as same goes to me.. i have guys liking me.. but for me.. i rejectted them just for him.. and maybe we have same way.. and maybe we just losed the hopes.. but however i think it cant be rewind as i guess he have throwned the memory and love far away.. and make way for others.. as for me i keep the place specially reserved for him.. but i think we both can get over it.. means we both already forgetting the past...
To all.. Loved sometimes doesnt means holding but it also sometimes about letting go...
and somtimes its better we be friends atleast u not losing him/her.. but now for me everythin have past.. i have to moved forward.. its a sad for me.. but i have to forced myself to look infornt.. and refer at the back as my dictionary of mistakes that i shldnt repeat.. Its hurt to lost him i do admit i gone thru the pains to forgetting him.. times is wat u needed.. frens is wat we want to brg up the cheers.. so closed this chapter of life.. and open new chapter tmw.. as i found my qns finally come with the answers.. and now im closing this chapter,, and shall not be think again.. it wld be only as refer so that i cld help my frens that mgt have the same situation as me..
1st thing u have to have Faith in God.. He knows what the best for us.. thats wat i do..
Kepade melayu.. percayelah terhadap Ajal,Maut dan Jodoh itu di tanganNye..
Well tc frens!!!
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