My family gonna be separated and left us partly away..

My family gonna be separated and maybe not gonna be the used we are.. Changes are here for my family.. All of us have to sacrifice if God really fated for us... Atok Omar and wife gonna stay with us.. Which means kakak and abg in law have to shift out from our house.., its too complicated to explain everything.. But then all in Dad's hands.. If daddy wanna take them in.. We have to separates.. Even though im and sis really disagree about this, nothing cld changes, coz all this upon daddy decisions..,i just have to bear what gonna come, coz im fear due to this, mummy and kakak gonna fight.. But again i was helpless to do anything.., i just hope God gonna help us.. And lead us the way.. Even though its means separation for us.. After all whats gonna happen is come from Him,so may God show us his guidance.. Hmm :(

Thanks God u is all i need..

Im currently at Changi Airport T3,now is 6.41pm.. When i look at the planes and the sky i wonder myself.. Reflected on my life.. I noticed that i was a loner, its not i dont have friends, but at times they need space on thier own, and congrats to kaah and jaja on thier 4th Monthsary.. May they enjoy their dinner at Pastamania @ ehub maybe..

Sometime i lost where shld i go,but i m glad God always there for me and show me His way.. Eventhough im alone but i know God will always watching me a protect me, most of my friends say im crazy,strangest,weird and etc coz i do things alone in such places.. But then i have nobody to be my companion and by my side, i was lucky i have kaah and yana, coz sometimes they will be there for me, and thanks most to kaah coz i know she wanna spent more time with her partner but she doesnt even mind im tagging along.., i m thanking God for the time He let ppl to be with me and accompany me.., but i do hope that when ppl by my side its not bcoz they sympathize me for being lonely,but they really wanna spent time with me...

Sometimes i feel im nobody in this world coz with my existence or not its doesnt make any different in their life, im just a person that God sent me to be by the side of ppl that alone and nid someone to listen to, even though barely ppl listen to me, i dont want them to feel the same as me..i want to be the one that hear thier sorrows and wipe thier tears, i feel nobody cares about me i mean like my feeling and the pain i been holding.. I just kept o myself coz i dont want ppl to misunderstand me by thinking im weak... But again nobody knows that person fully like we know our own.. May God always guide me his way in my life, if i dont have anybody the least i know i still have u Allah Swt...😊

I will go move from here at 7.30pm

Thanks God For leading me to this place today coz i dont know where is my destination for tmw..and who will i be with, alone again, or someone will be there..😊

Shld stop complaining..

Haiz is not i wanted to complaints how sucks my life is.. Sometime i wonder did i take things for granted?.. I just dont know how to bring the old me back, the way i dont give a damn abt anythg,whats happening and etc..the happy go lucky i used to be, dont give a fuck on anythg..now i dont know why that i care too much..haiz im just tired of everythg..how i wish i was like last time.. Tired if whinding abt my life... Fuhk!..seriously im tired of me being this way... Arrghh!..

Study time at usual place!: EHub!, Mac Cafe

Well now i at the bus stop otw to Pasir Ris Ehub! @mac cafe to study, idk why but i like to study there.. Coz i cld feel concerntration is there.. I gonna study for my test tmw.. There no way i wanna let myself fail without tryin.. So may today i will have the peace in my mind and heart..so i cld fill in my mind with knowledge and so do my heart feel relax and get things easy.. I lied to my mum.., i said i gone study with my friend, but then actually i when there alone.hahaha.. Well i cant rely on ppl to be there for me all the while.., i have to learned independent.. Afterall alone is the way to get myself everywhere in life, so doesnt matter is ppl see me loner, or what so ever.. As long i did things on my own.. So may today i cld tuck in all the knowledge in my brain . So even if i failed the least i do is i try an believe!.. 😊

May u brighten up my day.. ☀

Kay now im in class, i supposed to be study but i shoved my earpiece on and play with my phone.. I just dont feel like doing anything.. I just wanna go sch but then im doing nothing.. And my two fren at the back yana and kah busy whatsapping and beep here and there..*while updating my blog my teacher kpo and see what im doing and said i was busy smsing..*😝haix wonder what my day will be today.. may God showed me his way.. 😊

After a sunny day comes down the rains.. ☀☔

Today i spent my day at kah place, together with yana and syed.. We laugh out loud all day.. But who knows after a bright and sunny day, rain and storm strike in a sudden.. There something happen between kah and... When she reading her msg as her tears dripping down to her tears she shout and said "saket sia hati!" and range her anger all out and cry like there no others.., i cant say anything just speechless.. But inside me i wonder how cld i help her.., i always wanted to help all my friends but i just dont know how.., im just not a good listener and a gd helping hand.., however i hope Allah SWT will guide all my friends when i cant be there for them,or im just not gd enough to be a companion.. Afterall i just wanna be there for ppl really closed to me.. However God pls guide me and my loved ones.. Cause all the good and bad things happened, come from you .. Kay that roughly how my day today..May tomorrow i have a brighter day.. 😊

please bring the old me that i used to be.. i really lost my way and i only prayin hard to ALLAH SWT..

its kinda a while i didn't update my blog. There's many things happen.. the things that i cant stop from happened.. I know everything happen its on God Wills there nothing cld do but just accept it..i felt horrible days after days... i cant find the reasons why i kept on living this way for 11 months.. i just missed those days when i have my smile all over and everywhere i go.. but then everything changed.. nothing is the same as before.. how i wish i cld bring those smiles and laughter at my face.. but my heart cant denied.. Even after moving forward of my feeling towards "HER", i cld still feel the pain in me.. i just cldnt get it why it doesnt go away..

I know my heart are still crying that i cant have the things or PERSON.. i wanted.. but i have to moved on so the the person are happy with their life.. As long the person are happy and being take care of..i wld pray the best.. even i live in devastated conditions.. i only feel i got myself to turn to, and nobody else other than myself.. i just miss my old day really really really really much!!!..

Dear God,

I know imperfect.. and i know everything that happened was come from You.. and i should accept it no matter what even though its hurt.. i just want you to help me in my daily life.. pls guide me.. coz i seem to be so lost.. pls make me smile and laugh again.. im tired of living like a soul that dont really have a emotions.. and hope one day u find me a real,loyal,patience,understanding, person that will love me as much!.. and hope in return u will make me love the person as much in my life.. and the person wld throw away those sadness in my heart.. and we will live together in thick and thin together.. I may not have a perfect looks or interesting life.. but i just hope i will find the person that look deep thru in my heart, and not my outlooks.. after u sent many guys to accompany me,Afik,Sya,Solihin, and others.. now pls this time showed me one person that worth my whole life.. i cant continued living like this... Pls show me your guidance.. Im a human on my knees just begging and praying much to you to makes things works and well again.. Amin..

Hanya padaMu aku meminta pertolongan dan keredha hati..
Kau la Maha Pengasih,Maha Penyayang and Maha Pengetahui Segalanya..
Dan kau juga la yg telah menyaksikan segalanya..

Hope things wld changed..

Please change me..

Its 2011, i really hope after i lost my China Iphone, i wont be able to contact my past and get back to them, caused seriously i wanna moved on,. and refrain from repeating it because i could cry when i look back those mistakes I'm done..
done.. But what have don't cant be repeat, so now i reaaly2 hope God will show me the right path and his guidance, i a human being that fill with weakness, i need his greatness to showed the way.. and hopefully he will.. Amin..

Read back your diary,see what i m in my pasts..

Today. when i read back all my past, i realized there's so much i gone through.. I've been through to the worst stage.. As i read all it back, i can see in certain road in my life, i cant make the right decisions, i can't be tough enough to stop things that not supposed to be happening.. i let people to used me, i lets love to blind me in the dark, and worst i behaving like a slu,heartless and etc.. Ouh Gosh i cant believe it, i've been so lost..

But God im really regret of my doings, maybe that why karma comes around.. Please help me, i don't wish any of my past to repeats again., haiz.. Enough i been a fools in my past..

Is there a door for me to clear my mistakes?, if there is i will enter that door, and take the prices i have to pay.,

My Past has so much to pay...Im disappointed myself with my wrongs doing, n feel so low valued.. But somehow my past are also the one that teaches me something abt lifes, Learned from my mistakes, n never repeats!, But for all the stuff i been through this is what im becoming today, Never betray Trust..

Dear Pasts,
You're my life story,
You know what i been through,
You are the witness of those little & huge mistakes
that i've done.,but at the same time,

You also the one that witness my hardest stage of life,
You know the pain that i've been enduring all the while,
You see the sacrifices,that i make to pay the prices,
You know the hard decisions i make is out of my will..

Im no better than others, I was once the ex-convicts in the prison,
and im the prisoner of my own pasts,
i convicts worst offenses that the real convicts have done..

My true colors is my pasts, my worst nightmare is my mistakes,
my weakness is my heart, my strongest is my tears,
my awareness is my doings, my hatred is my stupidest decisions,
my anger is my attitude, my taciturn is what in my thoughts
i regards that
My pasts is about my mistakes,but, my future is not to repeat my mistakes,and i will have to continues till the end no matter what happen.


continues walkin..